


The One Where Lassiter Has a Secret

by PsychLassieFan4Ever



Category: Psych
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-20 22:27:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4804511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychLassieFan4Ever/pseuds/PsychLassieFan4Ever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlton J. Lassiter finds out some things about himself as a teenaged boy and things then get complicated when Shawn Spencer gets into the mix of things. Shassie story with unabashedly tweeked medical science for fictional reasons. Has mentions of sex and may/will contain M/M sexual situations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own anything in this story. All characters are owned by whatever company or person that actually owns the rights to 'Psych'.
> 
> Warnings: Disturbingly tweaked medical science (I have seen weird news reports of guys being ACTUALLY pregnant, but I'm skeptical), M/M relationship (This is a Shassie story.) Mentions of MPREG.
> 
> A/N: Having just completed a crazily-lengthy story, I am now free to write up some of the things I wanted to write while working on the Beast of a Story. Hope you enjoy, but I won't know unless you leave a Review. Thank you, if you do.

(1982)

Fourteen-year-old Carlton Jebediah Lassiter couldn't believe how terrible his life was. Just three months ago his father had bailed on his mother; leaving Carlton to help her care for his little sister. Now this. He had been having painful stomach cramps on and off for weeks before he had started bleeding this morning. It's how he ended up in the Emergency Room getting even more bad news.

He sat on the exam table and tried to listen to what the doctor was telling his mother. The things he heard convinced him that all the Health class teachers that lectured and embarrassed him with all their technical words for body parts that he didn't want hear were all liars. From what he had sat through and learned none of what the doctor was saying could be possible.

Once he was home with the bundle of pamphlets and supplies from the doctor, Carlton locked himself in his bathroom and stripped. He stared at himself in the mirror and tried to find anything on the outside that looked different; but came up with nothing. Everything was where it should be and looked normal. Well, as normal as his body ever looked.

This was just great. So, on top of his lanky frame and big ears the universe had decided to scramble his inside plumbing. Carlton got dressed and then pulled out the brochures. The doctor had assured him that although all the information was about the female anatomy, that it all applied to him.

This couldn't be happening.

It suddenly occurred to him that maybe he had gotten clues that something was off about himself. All the times he had found a boy at school attractive or had dreams where he was having sex with a guy. Maybe it was because of what was naturally happening to him on the inside. Carlton stretched out on his bed and pulled up his shirt to look at his stomach.

Really? Come on! Like high school wasn't going to be hell enough as is, he had to have THIS added to his awkward column? Damned it.

He still had several days before the results of the rest of the tests came back. His mother was more concerned about their results then he was at this point, but by Friday they would find out if it was still possible for him to have kids like a normal male on top of now being able to have kids like a girl could. He had begged his mother not to tell anyone, especially his older brother and sister, about this and he couldn't tell whether she would respect his wishes.

Carlton groaned from the cramping that was still happening, rolled on his side and fell asleep. His life would still suck when he woke up.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(1991)

He had done it. Carlton Lassiter had finally completed his BS in Criminology and his Police Academy application had been accepted. After years of focus and determination, barely ever straying off his goal of entering the Police Academy, Carlton sighed a heavy breath as he paid the cab driver. He figured if there was a day for celebrating that this was it. He entered the bar and ordered a drink.

"So, you are going to actually be a cop? A man in blue?"

Carlton was on his third drink, his last he promised himself, and smiled to the man who had started to talk to him. He had nice brown hair and was easy on his eyes. Carlton thought his name was Steve. Or it could have been Scott. He wasn't really sure.

"Yes. Although, I plan to eventually be a detective."

"Oh. You have to have, like a Masters degree for that don't you?" Steve, or Scott, reached out and his hand landed on Carlton's arm. The touch was warm and made Carlton's stomach flip. He liked the way it felt and he definitely liked the way Steve, or Scott, looked at him.

"Yes. I would. But I can work on that after the Academy."

Over the years, Carlton realized that he really had no preference when given the choice of being with girls or guys. He had plenty of offers from both and many more rejections as well. He had decided that, in the end, that he wasn't going to limit himself to one or the other. It wasn't as if he was in high demand from either gender. Might as well get what he could wherever it came from as long as he was able. Oh, he understood the social consequences of choosing to sleep with guys versus women, but he kept his personal life so private that it really didn't matter to anyone at this point.

He even somehow managed to get to this point with only a near handful (that included his doctors and specialists) to know his 'condition'. He grinned to himself about this achievement and relaxed into the conversation with Scott, or Steve.

After nearly an hour later, Carlton waved off the bartender that asked if he'd like another and took a chance. "So, would you like to get out of here and take the celebration to my place?"

Steve, or Scott, looked Carlton over from head to toe and nodded. "I would love that."

"Me too." He stood and paid for both their tabs.

The cab ride to his apartment made Carlton impressively horny. The groping and making out had his dick tenting his pants pretty quickly. By the time they stumbled into Carlton's apartment and into his bedroom, he had to reign himself in enough to take control of the situation.

Because of his 'condition', Carlton had decided early on that he would never be the bottom in any relationship to eliminate the risk of becoming pregnant. He unbuttoned Steve's, or Scott's, jeans and pulled them down as he got on his knees. His tried-and-true technique: giving his partner a blowjob to the point of coming so they didn't have the option to try and be on the top. Scott, or Steve, worked with his plan and it was obvious that Scott, or Steve, hadn't remembered Carlton's name either.

After the incredible sex, Scott, or Steve, excused himself to the restroom. Carlton stretched out on his bed and reveled in the satisfied glow. He was jarred from his sated state when Scott, or Steve, returned to the bedroom with the boxes of tampons and pads Carlton kept under his sink and tossed them onto the bed at him.

"I knew this wasn't going to be more than just a night of fun, but if you'd like a word of advice. Don't kid yourself. You can't play on both fields. Make up your mind or one day it will bite you in the ass." Scott, or Steve, started collecting his clothes and getting dressed. He was obviously put off from whatever he assumed from finding the feminine hygiene items. Carlton was in no way ready to tell anyone about his 'condition', especially to someone who was really just a celebratory one-night stand, so he just left Steve, or Scott, to his assumptions and watched the man dress and leave.

After Scott, or Steve, left Carlton replaced the boxes that offended the other man under the sink and took a hot shower. He sighed into the hot water. At least for the night, his life didn't suck.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(2004)

This couldn't possibly be happening. This was not supposed to be happening to him. Victoria looked at him with tears in her eyes as she explained that she couldn't be married to him any more. She couldn't take the long hours, the seemingly never-ending debt or his emotional distance. She 'needed someone who could open up to her and not keep secrets from her'.

Carlton thought that was insane. He was almost completely open to her. After nearly six years of being together, she knew things about him that no one else in the world knew about him. She was the only one he ever had told about his 'condition', he didn't think he could be married to someone without them knowing, and he didn't even keep his sexual history from her. How could she think he was keeping secrets from her?

Victoria held up a photo and he immediately recognized the situation. It was a photo taken while he was on duty. He remembered the case and the guy. Carlton had just caught the guy's brother's murderer and the guy had hugged and then kissed him before breaking down in tears. The photo in Victoria's hand was a perfectly timed shot of the kiss. Immediately, Carlton understood why Victoria was angry, but he wasn't going to do anything but stand his ground.

"This is not- Did you pay a PI to follow me? Is that how you got this?" Carlton took in a deep breath and tried not to get more angry, but couldn't stop his voice from getting louder. "Nothing happened between him and I. He broke down after he kissed me, that was all."

"And how often do you let other guys hug and kiss on you? Huh? How long before you are letting them do more than that to you? Why didn't you feel you could tell me about it?"

Carlton couldn't come up with a reason he hadn't told her about the incident himself. He didn't think it was a big deal at the time, but now that he was thinking about it; he could see why she would think otherwise.

"Don't think I haven't noticed you looking when a good-looking guy strolls past you or how you sometimes 'slip' into the wrong spot when we have sex."

Carlton saw how she used air quotes around the word slip. Those were true accidents. He would apologize afterwards and she always corrected his trajectory. It's not like he did that on purpose with her and he never went all the way like that.

"I can't live with someone who just might slip and fall into bed with another guy. Carlton, you are a great cop. Stick with that." That was all she said before the door slammed shut and she was gone.

What the hell was he supposed to do now? Sure, he had probably married Victoria for the wrong reasons, but he had really hoped to work his way to falling in love with her. He thought he was getting close, but he was obviously wrong.

Now what? Victoria had been his last grab at a normal life and chance to have a family. He had dreamed of the day he would have kids; the normal way. Just because he could carry a child to term, didn't mean he wanted to join the small group of men able to have kids like that. He was nearing forty years old and Carlton couldn't help but think of Victoria's departure as anything but his last chance of something normal slipping through his fingers.

Carlton pulled himself together. He was on track to be Head Detective of the Santa Barbara PD, so maybe he'd just focus solely on that without the distraction of having to deal with another person to consider. Carlton grabbed his jacket and headed to Tom Blair's Pub. He wanted to pretend that his life didn't suck for one night.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(2006)

"Crap on a cracker." Carlton mildly cursed at the headache that was forming. He couldn't believe just how much his life sucked at the moment.

Carlton opened the ibuprofen bottle and swallowed three caplets with water. He groaned as the cramps started to get stronger. No matter how long he dealt with his 'condition', he never got used to how terrible the pain could get. The medication stretched out his cycles to once every three months, but when they hit, he was forced to take time off from work because the pain was so bad. He was always able to came up with some excuse to be out of town for an extended weekend and his requests were never denied as he didn't tend to take any other personal days.

This time, he had come up with the excuse of going to an NRA convention in Arizona. The problem was, the increased pain signaled that his cycle was going to begin in the next day or two and it was only Tuesday. He was going to have to work through the first day which would be near-Hell. It also didn't help that he and Lucinda were just handed a high-profile kidnapping case and he wasn't completely sure he was still going to be able to take off for the weekend.

He looked up from his desk towards his partner's desk and sighed. She was an attractive woman that had been unfortunate enough to draw him as a partner. Early on the station buzzed with rumors that Carlton had taken to sleeping with her. Chief Fenich had even come close to investigating the rumors. To be honest, Carlton didn't mind the rumors, it took the edge off some of the others that floated around about his private life.

With the department getting a new Interim-Chief, Carlton worried that the rumors would bring about the wrong attention to them. Lucinda didn't seem to mind the rumors either. She had told him once that just the idea that she was given preferential treatment from the Head Detective allowed her to get priority status on their requests at the lab and the other units. So they both took the rumors in stride and decided that if the Interim-Chief brought it up, they would deny them and be completely honest. Publicly, he maintained the status of being separated from Victoria, even though their divorce had been finalized months ago.

Lucinda must have noticed him looking in her direction and she walked over.

"Lassiter, we have another case. Looks like someone has called in a tip for the electronics store robbery."

"Okay, so Dobson finally has a lead. How does this affect us? We are still working the McCallum kidnapping and I don't want to waste our time on a small-time robbery." Carlton could tell by Lucinda's face that he had come across as angry. He couldn't help it since the cramping pain was becoming distracting.

"Well, the Chief wants us to look into the tip being called in by a possible inside accomplice." She handed him a file. Dobson had done some looking into the caller, a Shawn Spencer.

From what was in the file, Shawn was the son of former Detective Henry Spencer. Detective Spencer. Carlton remembered him from when he was coming up through the ranks. The younger Spencer had a record. There was only one incident on it, stealing a car when he was eighteen. From what he read, it didn't seem like Shawn Spencer fit the bill of a robbery accomplice.

Every tip that was called in had led to an arrest. It could very well be possible that the detective's kid was involved in multiple crimes and then turned on his partners to tie up loose ends. He would have to get him into the station and question him to find out the truth.

"Alright. Let's call him in."

"Don't need to." Lucinda pointed to the lobby where both a tatted up biker and a younger guy in a leather jacket sat. "He came in to collect the reward for calling in the tip."

"Really? Huh." He looked at the guy in the leather jacket and gave him the once-over. He was young, attractive and had great hair. He looked nice in the jeans he was wearing. Carlton cleared his throat and adjusted his tie. "Let's get this over with so we can get back to the kidnapping case. This should be a quick double-check of an alibi and if we intimidate him, he should fold like a cheap sheet."

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three days after he met Shawn Spencer, the McCallum case was closed and Carlton was at home taking his personal days to deal with his personal issues. He had all that time to consider how the chance meeting of one person had changed his life in such a short time.

Lucinda had been transferred by the Interim-Chief because of Spencer's so-called 'vision' of seeing them sleeping together. The two of them had denied it, as was their plan; but Vick wasn't in the mood to believe them after Spencer had proven his so-called ability with other tips and leads. Carlton wasn't convinced that Spencer was anything more than an observant human being. The slight movement that Carlton had made in removing a piece of lint from Lucinda's hair in the interrogation room now seemed like the worst idea in history.

Damnedable lint. Damnedable Spencer. Damnedable terrible luck in life.

After his disciplinary conference with Vick and the head of Human Resources for his inappropriate behavior, he had called Lucinda to apologize. The whole thing had certainly not ended the way neither of them had envisioned. She seemed alright with the whole thing, though. Turned out she was going to get to be the Head Detective of the precinct she was headed to; thanks to the training she had received by him. He was happy that she was happy, but now he would have to train someone new. Vick had pointedly told him that he was being assigned another female detective and that he was on notice in advance that he was on probationary status for the next six months.

Carlton groaned from the pain he was in and looked forward to the next time he could take his pain killer. Days like this always made him hate his life and the cards he was dealt. He was alone, living a lie and keeping a somewhat major secret. Days like this had him hoping that he had hit rock bottom and that he was bound to see things improve.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

END of Chapter ONE  
Remember to leave a Review and let me know what you think. From here, the story departs from the fictional reality on the TV show. There may be mentions of cases from the episodes, but I am not going to be doing an episode-to-episode / case-by-case timeline. Stay tuned for Chapter TWO.

:)


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Everything 'Psych' related is owned by other people; not me. This story wasn't written for money- thank God, because I don't think anyone would pay to read this.
> 
> Warnings: This is a slash M/M pairing between Carlton and Shawn (a Shassie).
> 
> A/N: A second chapter! I am hoping I am not sucking at this fanfic thing, but the way I'll know is if you (the readers) leave a review. Good, or bad, write it up and let me know your thoughts. Thank You.

(Six Months Later)

Goddamn son of a bitch.

Carlton threw his briefcase onto his couch and dropped his keys onto the entryway table. How the hell did Spencer just know how to get under his skin the way he did? He still hadn't proved to Carlton that he possessed any real supernatural psychic powers, but somehow the man just knew which buttons of his to push.

On one hand, Carlton enjoyed having someone challenge him and keep him on his toes at work. But on the complete other hand, he truly hated that Spencer always came up with his information one or two steps ahead.

The challenge to his detective skills forced Carlton to work more. He had even given up one of his extended weekends to stay on top of the cases Spencer and Guster had been assigned to assist. The pain and aggravation during the cycle caused him to be even more surly and angry to the officers in his department.

Taking on more hours at the station meant he had no time for a personal life. He hadn't had a date or gotten laid in four months. He had taken to jerking off or using the one large dildo he owned nearly nightly to take the edge off his anger and frustration.

Chief Vick had called him in to her office several times over the last six months to discuss his behavior; finally removing his probationary status today with a warning about his attitude.

"Get it together, detective or you'll be put on Mandatory Leave."

The idea of being forced to be away from the station did not alleviate his stress at all. He didn't want to think about the damage Spencer could do while he was gone.

One of the more irritating aspects of working with Spencer was the touching and crowding of his personal space. More often than not, he found some part of Spencer on his body. He had been groped, fondled, given a lap dance and had one terrifying moment where he thought Spencer was going to kiss him.

The terrifying part of that moment was that he found himself wanting to kiss Spencer in that hotel kitchen. The yelling of his new partner, Juliet O'Hara, was the only thing that stopped him in that moment. He had never been so embarrassed as he supervised the removal of the dead body from the dumb waiter. Mostly because of the hard on he had to hide but also because he thought Spencer could tell he was turned on. He just didn't know what Spencer would do if he actually did 'know' how Carlton was beginning to feel.

Spencer had become an enigma that threatened to consume his soul to the point Carlton realized what was happening too late. He was forming a crush, an attachment, to Spencer and he wanted it to go away. He didn't want to become attached to someone he worked with on a nearly daily basis.

Carlton changed out of his work clothes and headed to a bar. He wasn't looking to get laid or drunk, but to try and forget about Shawn Spencer and his too attractive face for one evening.

Trouble was the universe had other ideas.

Carlton wasn't in the bar more than fifteen minutes when he saw Spencer walk in with a young brunette. She hung all over him and seemed to be listening to every stupid thing that could fly out of that stupid mouth. He lifted his glass and finished the remainder of his drink in one mouthful before signaling to the waitress that he wanted another. He hadn't planned on getting drunk, but he figured a couple drinks wouldn't be bad.

He sat and drank but the object of the night had been to try and forget about Spencer; that was impossible to do when he sat at the bar right in front of Carlton. With his perfectly shaped ass and his tanned skin that showed above his jeans because his shirt rode up. Carlton felt like an idiot because he knew he was staring and the image in front of him was arousing him.

Carlton switched to water and tried not to look in Spencer's direction while he waited for his buzz to subside. He couldn't help it, though and noticed at some point the girl had taken off without him. He thought about walking over and keeping the other man company, but then changed his mind. Carlton paid his tab and drove himself home.

He brought the fake dick into the shower with him and jerked off while he fucked himself. Carlton would lie if asked if he had imagined that it was Spencer inside him that night.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
(One Week Later)

Carlton hated the week he had just had to endure. Not only had an attractive Treasury agent tried to one-up him in the case; which almost led to a physical altercation. But Spencer had been publicly humiliated by a suspect. The airing out of his sexual encounter with her and the fact that he had obviously been used as a distraction had Carlton reeling in so many emotional directions. He wanted to comfort Shawn and felt bad that the guy had been taken for a ride, but at the same time he felt jealous that Spencer had had sex with someone that wasn't him.

He felt he had to get away for the weekend. Since he hadn't taken time off for his last cycle, he talked the Chief into letting him take some personal time. She hadn't argued in the least and he honestly didn't know what to think of that. Carlton packed up for the weekend and headed up to the Cachuma Lake area. He could take some time to fish and relax and there was a nice restaurant that served the best Chicken Parmesan. Since he wouldn't be in Santa Barbara, Carlton thought he could also feel free enough to try and find someone for a little extra relaxing time.

Carlton met Paul Smith while he was at the lake doing his fishing. He was nice and they were able to talk about things other than each others' work. Paul made the fishing enjoyable and agreed to join Carlton for dinner.

Dinner turned into dinner and drinks, which then led to a semi-public make out session which then resulted in driving back to Carlton's hotel.

"Oh God, Fuck. Yes." Carlton quickened his pace on the dick he was sucking after hearing such positive feedback. He ran a hand under Paul's balls and trailed a finger to his hole. The only thing he heard from Paul was moaning and the occasional curse word. Paul came as Carlton inserted the second finger. Never breaking from his method, Carlton swallowed and continued prepping his date to accommodate him. Just a few more minutes and Paul begged Carlton to fuck him.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Once he was back at home, Carlton felt like kicking himself in his own head if it were physically possible. He couldn't believe what happened. He and Paul had been having a fantastic time, until Carlton hissed out Spencer's name when he came. When Paul spoke of it, he accepted the apology but gave Carlton the old 'Don't call me, I'll call you' line and dance. Paul left and Carlton wasn't motivated to stay on the lake any longer. He checked out early and used the drive home to try and wrap his mind around this 'thing' with Shawn.

Friggin' Shawn Spencer.

He had not only invaded his space at work and injected himself into his cases. Shawn had become a featured player in his evening solo 'play' times and now, the man had unknowingly managed to fuck up Carlton's sex life. Carlton figured he had to do something about this issue.

They hadn't mutually connected, they weren't dating, hell Spencer was straight. Not to mention that Shawn had many issues that irritated him: he was immature, self-centered and ridiculous. No, Carlton decided that he was going to ignore everything fluttering inside him about the man and go cold-turkey; to disengage whatever emotional attachment he had formed for the consultant. Maybe if he just pushed it all down he'd move past this crush and begin functioning normally again.

Ugh. Carlton dropped his overnight bag and then proceeded to set things up for the morning. He figured he'd go into the station and pick up some overtime hours since he wouldn't be driving from Cachuma in the morning after all. He called his partner to let her know that he had cut his trip short and that he could now help her get their presentation ready for the Law Enforcement Seminar.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Everything had been going so smoothly and he was getting excited about the seminar. He and O'Hara had spent the morning hammering out the details of their presentation. He had even been given permission to include a bit about sonic weaponry. His good mood was cut short when he walked out of the Chief's office and saw Spencer and his partner having some kind of childish race in the office chairs.

It must have been a combination of stress from his busted trip, the idiots playing around in his station, his car being stolen right in front of that station and the fact that Spencer kept prodding him about his date and and the valet parking tag on his key chain. Whatever the cause, his blurting out of some random street address and made up date's name (he had changed Paul to Polly) didn't make things any better and worse, it seemed to Carlton that Spencer didn't quite believe him.

When Spencer came up with the Valet lead, he dreaded having to make the drive back to the Cachuma Lake restaurant with the duo. He entered the kitchen to speak with the restaurant's owner and actually recognized him from two nights before. Thankfully, Spencer and his partner took his hint and left to their own devices before things could get embarrassing or awkward.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Three days after the chop shop case was closed for the second time, Carlton found himself in the conference room with O'Hara scowling at the paperwork they intended to turn in to the Chief.

"Carlton?"

"What, O'Hara?"

"Can I just talk with you without you getting all cranky? We are partners. We work together all day."

"I don't want to talk. I want to finish proofreading this file so we can turn it in and I can go home."

"Alone? To eat that half a frozen dinner?" He transferred his scowl to her and she grabbed the file out of his hands. "What's up?"

"Nothing's up, O'Hara."

"I call bullshit. Something is up. Whatever it is, it's personal; obviously. I'm not trying to pry, but if there's ever anything you need to talk about, I'm here. All day, partner. Just say the word and we'll go someplace quiet and talk things through. Or shoot things until you feel better."

He grabbed the file back from her and found his place in the papers. She stood and collected her portion of papers. She was about to leave and he was hit with a sudden urge to make her stay. He needed to vent, but was unsure if she was the right person to turn to.

Who else should he be able to turn to? She was to have his back in the field; they held each others' lives in their hands daily. As she opened the door and looked back at him he saw a saddened smile. The one thing he hated more than weakness was pity. Other people's pity.

The last time he trusted anyone with anything it bit him in the ass. Would she understand? Would she make fun of him? Would she respect his need to keep things a secret? God he hated unknown variables. He finished the last page of his file and closed it. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. Was he really going to do this?

Man up, detective. Maybe if she knew what was really twisting your panties she'd stop trying to hook you up with her friends and acquaintances. The last two setups had gone disastrously, but he had gone to be polite. She did seem to care. He guessed he'd find out tonight.

He gathered his things, turned in his files and walked to her desk.

"Want to grab dinner? I guess if you're offer's still open to listen?"

"Definitely. You ready to go now?"

"As ready as I can be." He grumbled and then headed to his desk for his suit jacket and briefcase.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> END OF Chapter 2. Feedback? Was it okay, not okay? Leave a review and let me know (doesn't matter if it's good feelings or bad- I want to know!) Hoping to have Chapter 3 up soon.
> 
> :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the story. Will Carlton be able to ignore his feelings for Shawn?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't OWN anyone or anything in the Psych universe and I am surely not making a dime or even a nickel off these perverse words I've typed.
> 
> Warnings: M/M pairing, but that has been stated from the beginning. There's actual touching and things get downright heated and snuggly in this chapter.
> 
> A/N: Figured since I'm having a Hell of a time updating this story, that I shouldn't draw things out as long as I originally planned. So, a win for the readers! And I am happy to say my writer's block has melted a little so hopefully updates will happen more frequently in the upcoming future.

* * *

Carlton closed the door to his apartment, set down his briefcase, loosened the knot in his tie, and slid down to the floor. He held his head in his hands and just exhaled. Well, it didn't go down as bad as he thought it would. She listened when he apologized for his gruff and dismissive attitude for the last few days. He turned down her help in finding yet another horrible opportunity for a date when she thought that was his problem, but then wanted to know why. Why had the last dates sucked so bad?

So he came out with it.

"Because, lately I've been distracted by someone else. Someone I don't even know is interested in me. Who shouldn't even be on my radar because I work so closely with them all the time."

Then she freaked. He looked at her and her eyes had gone wide and a flush had happened across her cheeks.

"Carlton. I- I'm really not. We can't. I mean, you're great, but I.."

She completely misunderstood him. He needed to stop her train of thought immediately and without subtlety, so he waved his hands in front of her and raised his voice to get her to stop talking.

"No. O'Hara. It's not you. It's Spencer. I think I've got a thing or something for Spencer."

"Shawn? You- You're interested in Shawn? But he's a- and you're a-. Are you gay?" She lowered her voice and then just stared at him.

"I'm not gay, O'Hara. Or not just gay, I guess. But now you see why it's a problem. I'm trying to work through this and make it go away, but it's just driving me batty. Apparently, also crabby and grouchy. I haven't figured out how not to let this piss me off."

"Have you thought about just asking Shawn out?"

"Are you kidding me? I can't walk up to the station's biggest flirt; the one who had it publicly announced at a case closure that he had slept with a suspect. A female suspect. And ask him out, can I?"

She had agreed with him that it probably wouldn't be his best move. They ate dinner and she asked questions; generally around dating guys. She also placated him and assured him that she would keep his secret.

So he sat on his entry floor, back against the door and tried to tell himself that it was good that she knew. That now they could work together daily without one of his secrets clouding his thoughts, but he still needed to work on ignoring Shawn while working around the man.

(2 WEEKS LATER)

"Jesus Christ, Lulu. Let me be, already." Carlton had tried all weekend to get his youngest sister to leave. Sure, it was sort of her and his nephew's fault that he had broken his collarbone, but he was a grown man and could take care of himself. Even one-handed. "You have apologized, Peter has apologized, you have driven me home and made me food to last a goddamn month. I will be fine."

"Okay, Carl. I get it. One last time, I'm sorry the mountain biking trip failed so epically. Peter did have fun with you up to the accident." She pulled him into a hug and he reluctantly returned it. He even leaned down and squeezed his nephew into one. "Are you sure you're not going to want to take a day or two off of work..."

He hoped the look on his face had the effect it was supposed to, and she stopped mid-sentence.

"Okay, big brother. We're off, then. Call if you need anything."

"Sure." He was relieved when they finally left him alone to assess the damage and work on how to do his daily routine with his arm in a sling. The worst part was going to get his suit to fit over the cast. So he figured he'd begin there. But first, his painkillers. He had refused anything with a sedative since he was going to be on duty, but the doctor insisted he needed something. Broken collarbones hurt like a son of a bitch.

He spent the day figuring out the things he would need to do by morning: getting dressed, working the coffeepot, showering. Not being able to move normally and using only the one arm for everything except holding light-weight objects was tiring.

In the morning, he glanced out his window while he drank his coffee and realized he had forgotten a crucial action item: driving to the station.

"Shit."

He figured since it was an automatic, he could do alright, but he had better be safe than sorry. He called his partner.

When Juliet pulled up to his house, and saw the sling he knew he was in for a day of twenty thousand questions.

"Oh my, God, Carlton. What happened?"

"O'Hara, I don't want to talk about it. It hurts, but it isn't going to stop me from doing my job. Let's go."

They traveled half way to the station before she attacked him about his arm again. "But what happened? Is your arm broken?"

"It's my collarbone, and I really am not going into details about this. The cast comes off in about four weeks."

"Fine. You don't want to talk about it, be that way. Chief Vick isn't going to just let her Head Detective do light-duty without an explanation, you know."

She was right. Karen Vick kept him in her office until she got enough details to satisfy her paperwork, which only included when it happened, the doctor's orders, the area injured and the date of the cast removal. He was thankful nothing was needed about the incident itself. It would only look ridiculous to have a grown man explain that he broke his collarbone while mountain biking with his nephew.

The rest of the day went along fine even if everyone he passed wanted to ask about the sling. He enjoyed just telling them to drop it as he kept walking and doing his job. Then Shawn Spencer walked into the precinct with Guster and another man that Lassiter assumed was a relative of the Guster family.

"Oh! Lassie, what happened to your arm, buddy?"

"None of your business, Spencer." He relished the effect that his brush off had on the other man.

"He won't tell us what happened either, Shawn."

* * *

After the spectacle in the newspaper office, Carlton had put two and two together to realize that it was Shawn Spencer that had written the horribly embarrassing horoscope that had him walking backwards through doorways (and sometimes into things). Sure, the suggestion to increase his calcium intake was appreciated, but it still irritated him that Spencer had gotten to him once again on a case.

Since he couldn't drive himself to Spencer's apartment and have it out with the man, Carlton took to cleaning his guns. He made it to the third firearm before he realized he was talking out loud to himself. He was also shoving the cloth through the barrel with a little more force than was necessary.

"Freaking Spencer. With his hunches and visions and perfect hair and skin." He sat back and growled at his own words. Just as he thought he'd take a break there was knock at his door.

Carlton peeked through his front door's peep hole and couldn't believe his luck. Shawn Spencer stood on his porch as if the Gods had offered the man up as a sacrifice to his wrath. He opened the door with such force that Spencer jumped in his spot on the porch.

"What the hell do you want, Spencer?"

Spencer thrust a paper bag into his chest that forced him to hold on to it as he pushed through his front door and into his living room.

"Oh. Jules was worried you had forgotten to eat dinner, so I offered to bring it to you."

Carlton frowned because he had forgotten to eat dinner, but O'Hara wouldn't have known that.

"O'Hara was worried I hadn't eaten?" Carlton shut the front door and his eyebrow lifted in disbelief to Spencer's words.

"Yes. She worries about you. Friends worry for each other, you know? Whether they're eating right, getting enough sleep, how they break their collarbones."

"Ah, so you came here with food to try and figure out the great mystery? Sorry to disappoint you, Spencer. It's broken, there was no great caper. So, you can go now."

But Shawn didn't move to leave. He stood against Carlton's kitchen counter and just stared at him. Carlton felt uneasy under the glare, so he stepped past Spencer to open his cabinet and grab a plate. He thought he imagined the slight brush of the shoulders that happened as he walked by him.

"So if the story isn't all that awesome, why don't you just come out with it? Unless. You're embarrassed at how you broke it. Was it during a kinky sex act?"

"What?! No. Spencer, come on. Don't be ridiculous. I just don't care to talk about it."

"You know, I sprained my tailbone during a rough night of sex once."

"And why would I want to know that?"

"Just wanted to open up, let you know that it's okay to share, with your friends, Lassie. There's no judging, maybe some playful banter or chuckling if the activity is amusing."

Carlton considered just telling Spencer what he came over to find out. It might let him leave. But he found he didn't really want Spencer to leave. It was the closest they had been to each other in weeks and if Carlton were honest, he would say he missed the horseplay. Carlton brought out a fork and started to eat the beef with peppers on rice that Spencer had been nice enough to bring. He swallowed a forkful before he responded to Spencer.

"Alright. You say I can trust you. Then be honest, O'Hara didn't send you with food, did she?"

"No. She didn't. I didn't think you'd let me in if I said I brought dinner for you because I was worried."

"Okay. If I tell you, it better not get around the station." Carlton thought he'd give Spencer the chance to prove that he wasn't really a friend and that he was just trying to make fun of him. The story of his broken collarbone is innocent enough, if Spencer couldn't manage to keep his mouth shut it wouldn't hurt his career.

"Sure, Lassie." Carlton took notice that Spencer's body language changed slightly and he seemed to be listening intently.

"I went mountain bike riding with my sister and my nephew. Bike hit a branch, I fell over the handle bars. Landed wrong and broke the collarbone. There. That's the story."

He waited for Spencer to start laughing or to tease him about being clumsy or non-athletic, but nothing of the sort followed his explanation.

"Okay. See? Friends sharing injury stories. That wasn't so bad, was it?"

He guessed it wasn't. It was actually nice to have someone listen and not make fun. He picked up his plate and took a seat on his couch.

"There was more food than I could eat by myself in that bag, Spencer. Why don't you grab a plate?"

Spencer nearly pounced on the bag while he copied Carlton's movements of grabbing a plate and a fork. Carlton was shocked when Spencer sat so very close to him on the couch. Their legs knocked into each other and Carlton pulled his away from Spencer's.

"Thank you. The smell all the way over had my stomach growling." Spencer took a bite and made an almost sexual moan as he swallowed.

And that's how their evening proceeded. They ate their food and passed more injury stories back-and-forth. He told Spencer about his most serious knife wound while packing his firearms away and about the first time he'd been shot on duty. Spencer retold his story about the night he'd been run off the road during that dreadful Spelling Bee case and even showed him a nasty scar down his sternum from a surgery after a different motorcycle accident.

Spencer pulled the shirt up and off and Carlton felt the heat of a blush travel from his neck to his ears and hoped he didn't look as turned on as he felt. Spencer continued talking about his scar and the accident without noticing his response, but he really nearly lost his composure when Spencer took one of his hands and placed it on the scar. He felt the ridges of the tissue as Spencer traced it with his fingers. The action left his mouth dry and he couldn't help but stare at the nearly smooth chest he was touching.

When Carlton did take his eyes off Spencer's chest, he looked right into the man's hazel eyes. Spencer also had a flushed look about him and Carlton was glad he wasn't the only one, but he didn't know how to back out of the awkward situation. In his moment of hesitation, Spencer had stepped even closer. Carlton could feel Spencer's heart thrumming through his chest and it seemed to quicken as he neared.

Carlton knew what he wanted in that moment. Whatever crush or attachment he had been trying to push away and ignore wasn't going away and having Spencer so close made him ache with a want so strong. He felt Spencer's hands on his shoulders pull at him and he let it happen. Their lips touched and both men moaned at the contact. The hand Carlton held to Spencer's chest moved to the back of his neck. The slinged arm could do nothing and was trapped between their bodies.

Spencer's tongue swiped across his bottom lip and Carlton had a second of hesitation, of fear of moving things too quickly. He nearly backed away and stopped what was happening. Just as he felt he would pull away, Spencer whispered, "please" against his lips. The simple hushed request melted his objections and he willingly received Spencer's tongue.

The kiss deepened and they moved back to sitting on the couch; Spencer on his lap. Spencer was already shirtless and the arm sling made it impossible to remove his own button up, but Spencer proved resourceful enough to unbutton the whole thing and even untuck the shirt while they made out. Spencer's, no- Shawn's, mouth traveled down across Carlton's jaw and neck until he had to crawl off his lap and onto the floor. He kissed his way down Carlton's chest and played with his nipples through his thick chest hair.

"Spencer." His hands rubbed Carlton's thighs through his trousers while he kissed and licked his way down.

"Spencer." Carlton's voice came out louder, but Shawn kept going. The hands met at the junction of his legs and his mouth grazed his growing erection.

"Shawn." The use of his first name out loud had the man looking at Carlton's eyes, but it didn't still his hands as one rubbed his bulge and the other started to open his belt.

"We can't. Not yet."

"Too fast?" Shawn asked and moved back to Carlton's lap.

"Yes. A little. I didn't even know you were interested in me until five minutes ago."

Shawn had stopped groping his groin, but while he sat in Carlton's lap he was anything but still. The friction Shawn was creating with their erections was incredible, but Carlton didn't want things to move so fast.

"Lassie. I've been interested. I couldn't tell if YOU were interested in me. I can slow things down, but I'm not sure that I want to. Big Lassie down there is too tempting. I want to touch. Taste. Feel."

With the last three words, Shawn pressed a kiss to Carlton's lips and slid his tongue in smoothly after the word 'feel' and Carlton thought he was going to lose his composure.

Carlton pulled away and leaned his forehead on Shawn's.

"Why don't we just start with going out or spending time with each other outside of work?"

"Um. I think we're doing that now." More grinding and Carlton's eyes closed and he sucked in a breath. "Come on, Lassie. You know if you let me leave now, you'll just finish yourself off alone and I'll go home and do the same to thoughts of you doing naughty things to me. Why can't we just get off together."

Oh God. The friction, the kissing and the fuzzy logic combined in Carlton's mind. Shawn's hands went to his belt again. This time he relented.

"I want to go first." Shawn pressed another kiss to his lips and then slid off his lap. His belt was undone quickly and Shawn pulled his pants and boxers right down to his ankles even faster. Carlton opened his eyes and saw Shawn's eyes go wide.

"God, Lassie. You have a sweet, sweet love handle."

Carlton couldn't manage any sort of response or retort to Shawn's appreciative comment as Shawn started to stroke him and squeeze. It felt so good. He hadn't sucked off in almost a month and for it to be Shawn to be doing the sucking made his head spin. He watched as the lips he'd only imagined wrapped around him rose and fell. Shawn was skillful at sucking dick and Carlton was enjoying the fuck out of the action.

In his blissed out state, he could only mutter incoherent words in between swearing. He flinched when he felt one of Shawn's fingers brush passed his perineum towards his hole. Shawn gagged against the force of his dick against his throat and pulled off.

"Just one, Lassie. To make it feel really good. That's all."

Carlton nodded his permission and Shawn continued his sucking as the one finger eased into him. Shawn hummed something at the back of his throat and with just four presses against his prostate, Carlton came. It seemed like he wasn't ever going to stop, but Shawn sucked and swallowed until he was done. Carlton brushed the beads of sweat off his forehead as he took deep breaths to come down off such an amazing orgasm.

"Take them off." Carlton nearly ordered Shawn out of his jeans. Once they were off and Shawn was completely naked, he gestured for Shawn to climb up onto the couch. When Shawn straddled his lap, Carlton smacked his ass to let him know that's not where he wanted him. "Up here. Bring your cock to me. I can't crawl onto the floor with my arm."

Shawn took hold of himself as he stood on the couch. Carlton was glad to see he had at least one attribute that was better than Shawn's. He took hold of Shawn's hip as the dick was brought to his mouth. He dipped his head down to lick Shawn from balls to tip before he sucked the crown into mouth.

"God, Lassie. Fuck." It was all the encouragement he needed to hear as he opened his mouth and pulled Shawn further inside.

Shawn wasn't going to last long, his thrusts were already erratic, but turnabout is fair. Carlton took his hand off Shawn's hip inserted a finger into his mouth alongside Shawn's dick just to get it slick before he rubbed it around Shawn's hole as Shawn had done to him. He was met with muscles so tight that it was work to get his finger in to the first knuckle. He chalked it up to his partner being so taut and ready to blow and he backed out. Three more thrusts and Shawn came with a shout of obscenities.

Carlton was glad he had the use of his hand to steady and lower Shawn back down to his lap, because Shawn nearly collapsed on top of him. Once Shawn was seated and his breath evened, he was latched onto Carlton lips. They sat together and just slid their tongues into each others mouths until their lips were chapped and Shawn had started to shiver from his sweat cooling.

"Um. I'd better get dressed and head home." He looked right at Carlton and smiled. "You had better not regret what happened tomorrow and get all whiny. This. Is happening again. And again."

Carlton could only chuckle at the statement while Shawn stood collected his clothes. He did the same, only slower and more awkward with only having the use of one arm. When they were both dressed, Shawn stepped back to him and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Carlton Lassiter. If I had known what kind of a sex God you were all this time, I would not have taken so long to make a move, man." Shawn leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips that promised more in the future. "Yowza. Head Detective. Sex God. Yeah, I'll take more please."

"Go home, Spencer."

Once Shawn was out and he was getting ready for bed, Carlton looked at himself in his bathroom mirror. He felt good. He hoped that whatever ride Shawn Spencer was going to give him wouldn't suck too badly. He laid in bed and thought of the hundreds of ways a relationship with Spencer could go wrong, just as he had weeks prior when he talked himself into ignoring the man. But, as he drifted to sleep it seemed that there were millions of reasons to try and make it work.

* * *

END of Chapter 3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now what?! Where do Shawn and Carlton go from here? Read to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: Still don't own any of this, except my own impure thoughts.
> 
> WARNING: Still a M/M story. But if you didn't notice by now, the fourth chapter, maybe I'm not doing something right.
> 
> A/N: So much for more frequent updates. But, I promise to add new chapters as soon as I have the ability. Thanks for reading and keeping up with the story- you are appreciated and it will have an ending.

* * *

Carlton finished his morning briefing to his detective unit and dismissed them with his standard "due diligence keeps the scum off the streets" motto. He collected the case files he kept for himself and O'Hara before heading to his desk. He noticed his partner glaring at him and instantly worried that he had done something to already piss her off.

Great. Not even an hour into the day and she's gonna start railing me about something.

He sat down and started up his laptop as she strode her way over to him.

"Carlton."

She didn't say anything else, so he returned with "O'Hara."

"Can I say something?"

"Please do. If you don't and you're just hovering over my desk and not getting work done, I'm liable to get angry." Kind of a bluff, really since he's felt in a very good mood since his encounter with Shawn the night before. Who knew the actual key to being happy was mutually satisfying sex? Carlton made a mental note to call Shawn during a break and see if he was free for dinner.

Carlton noticed she still hadn't said anything, so he looked straight at her and raised an eyebrow. "O'Hara? Anytime."

She sat in the chair next to his desk and leaned closer to him.

"I think what you're doing is wrong."

"What? What am I doing?"

"When we talked and you said you were going to to ignore your feelings for Shawn. I had no idea that you were going to be so quick to distract yourself. You aren't even going to entertain the idea of him and you? Not even give it a chance. I think that's wrong."

"What? Where are you getting this?" He obviously needed to talk to his partner about the recent changes with Shawn.

She leaned in closer and nearly whispered, "It's obvious you were with someone last night. They left a hickey on your neck. Don't you think you're moving awfully fast?"

"Oh, Jesus. There's a hickey? Damned it." He hadn't noticed any marks as he got dressed. He stood from his desk and walked to the Men's Room. As he looked over his neck in the mirror the door opened and Shawn stepped in.

"Spencer. Why are you here? The Chief didn't call you in. Did she?"

"Actually, Lassie..." Shawn stepped closer to him. "I came in with Gus. He wanted to pick up our last check."

"And you?" Shawn had come close enough to reach out and grab, at least with the arm without the sling.

Shawn stretched and grabbed into Carlton's hair with both hands while he pulled him down into a kiss.

There were hands and lips and teeth until Carlton felt he was getting more than playfully aroused by the actions. He pulled away from Shawn and cleared his throat. It didn't help; his voice still came out gravelly.

"Not at the station, Shawn."

"Come on, Lassie. You've worked in this building for years. Are you telling me that in all that time you have never fantasized about making out or more somewhere?" Shawn ran a hand down the front of Carlton's shirt and then down to his pants. "You, of all people, must know of someplace we could be and not be bothered for a few minutes. Hmm?"

"Shawn." Shawn's hand started to rub and fondle and Carlton's mind had trouble forming sentences. If he were honest, he would tell Shawn that there were a few places in the precinct the two of them could be alone, but he wasn't looking for a quickie at that moment.

"Shawn. Stop, baby. Shawn." Shawn stopped and looked into his eyes. "Let's go out tonight. Let's do a date; the two of us. Dinner?"

"Um. That sounds good, Lassie. Dinner, then your place? I can help you get ready for bed."

Carlton chuckled at Shawn's presumption. "We'll see how dinner goes. And if you can behave yourself." He winked at Shawn then side-stepped past him to open the bathroom door. He looked back and didn't stop himself from checking out Shawn from top to bottom. "God, I must be crazy."

Carlton ran right into his partner from the bathroom. He was lucky he didn't knock over her coffee cup. He was unlucky that the door hadn't closed before Shawn shouted "Crazy hot detective."

Her eyes went wide and her jaw nearly hit the floor. "O'Hara. He wasn't, that wasn't. We..."

"Oh my God!" Her face instantly lit up and the frown she had held disappeared. Then, she slapped him. "That's for making me think you were a bastard."

"O'Hara. You didn't exactly give me time to tell you anything, now did you? And don't say that I could have said something in the car on the way here. You know that doesn't count since I hadn't had any coffee."

He pulled at the sling strap and adjusted his arm. Carlton really hated the thing and looked forward to the day he could once again be free from its confining material. He walked back to his desk and could hear that his partner was following him. When he sat down, she pulled a chair over and sat next to him. Oh Jesus, he thought. He scrubbed his free hand down his face and reached for his coffee. He braced himself for whatever conversation this was going to lead into. Carlton glanced around the bullpen and noticed just how secluded his desk area actually was from the bustle of the officers.

"So, you talked to Shawn last night? That's great. Now, I won't pry too much. I'm just happy for you. And I can tell the Chief that I won't need to find you a date."

"What? She told you to, what? That's just not, that's a breach of privacy. You will tell her nothing of anything of what's going on between Shawn and I. Nothing, understand?"

"Whoa, calm down. I wasn't going to give her details, just let her know that she won't have to be checking every other day. She was worried about you and the multiple complaints you were racking up, partner. Not whether or not you actually get laid. I don't think she wanted that kind of information." O'Hara made a face when it seemed she had a mental image run into her thoughts. Carlton couldn't help but feel a little slighted, even though he never wanted his partner to think of him in that way. Still, he was a man that had some sort of an ego to bruise.

"Anyway." Carlton cleared his throat and pushed his chair further under his desk to start working on their cases. "If the Chief does ask, then yes please tell her that you won't need to be meddling in my social life anymore."

"Deal." O'Hara slid the extra chair back and Carlton watched as she went into the break room. She possibly refilled her coffee cup. He reached out for his own cup and couldn't help but relax when the warm liquid hit the back of his throat. Everything was as it should be and slightly better, now that he had accepted his feelings for Shawn and that he now knew they weren't as unrequited as he had thought.

Carlton texted Shawn around seven and they agreed on a restaurant for dinner. Since he still could drive, Carlton allowed Shawn to pick him up from his house. He didn't like the idea that Shawn would then be dropping him off and would try to persuade him into coming in after dinner as he assumed earlier in the day, but things were as they were.

* * *

It's fifteen past eight when Shawn arrived and Carlton met him in the driveway. He wasn't sure how to greet the man since they weren't exactly boyfriends yet, but they had already been more than friendly with each other. Shawn made the decision easy. Shawn walked right up to Carlton, wrapped his arms around him and kissed him. Carlton hummed from the contact and the pure eagerness of the other man and when Shawn's tongue pressed against his lips, he opened his mouth without a second thought. Shawn felt good against him, probably too good and they spent a long few minutes standing next to the tiny blue car Shawn drove over before they slid in and went to dinner.

Shawn did, in fact, persuade his way into Carlton's house after dinner and he didn't actually mind in the least. Especially when Shawn undid his belt and slid his hand into Carlton's pants.

"Oh, God." Shawn pulled back from the kiss and sucked his lower lip as he did. Carlton popped the button on Shawn's jeans. "Shawn, I want you. Please."

"Yes. Lassie, yes." Shawn withdrew his hand from his pants then both of them raced to Carlton's bedroom; they only paused to grope each other or to pull off a sock. In Carlton's case, it was to lift off the sling and get assistance in removing his shirt. Once the cast, which had the appearance of a back brace, was visible, Shawn's eyes locked onto it and he traced it with his hands. Shawn pushed him on the bed and straddled him as he continued to kiss and run his hands all over. Carlton pulled him up and squeezed his ass.

He wanted to be inside Shawn so much at that moment. He leaned over to open his nightstand and Shawn sucked at his neck as he grabbed the bottle of Astroglide. He let Shawn suck and nip at him at his own pace as he slicked his fingers with the lubricant. The friction Shawn caused with his movements had Carlton in a blurred haze of lust. He traced his mobile hand down Shawn's back and into the curve of his cheeks.

"You look so good on top of me." Carlton kissed him once more then pressed a finger to his entrance. Shawn hissed again and his whole body seemed to tense up. Carlton had barely breached his hole and if he had any hope of getting Shawn to ride him, he needed to get him to relax.

"Shh. C'mon, Shawn. Relax. It's me." He lifted his hips and let his cock rub against Shawn's erection to remind him of the end goal. Shawn took a deep breath and pressed back onto Carlton's finger. It barely made any headway before Shawn sucked in air again.

"Sorry, Lassie. Just didn't think it would burn so much."

Carlton pulled out slowly and gently and rubbed Shawn's back. "Have you never... never had sex with another guy before?" He felt really nervous to ask.

"No, I have. Not many; I'm not like that. I've just never... this way."

"Oh. Oh. Yeah, okay. That's okay. Totally okay." Carlton knew he was mumbling, but couldn't help it while he processed the new information. So, Shawn had never been a bottom before. He could deal with that; take the time and in a week or two Shawn should be able to take him. The problem laid with what they could do now; both of them were still hard and wanting the other.

He felt Shawn grasp his face in his hands and Carlton locked eyes with the man on top of him.

"You are thinking way too much and I am so very horny." Shawn lowered himself and kissed him slowly and passionately. They started grinding on each other and moaning into each others' mouth. Somewhere in the heat of the moment, Shawn had slicked his fingers and run his hand between them. Carlton felt the finger enter him gingerly and his eyes snapped open. "We can change course, can't we?"

Shawn searched Carlton's face for an answer. An answer he couldn't provide. He wanted to continue, but fear was holding him back. Instead of replying, he opened his legs wider, pressed down to let Shawn's finger go deeper and pulled Shawn back to kiss him. "Suck me, Shawn. While you finger me, suck me."

"I can certainly do that, Lassie." Shawn moved down his body; nipping, licking and sucking the whole way down to his cock. Carlton closed his eyes and gave in to the sensations. Shawn pressed a second finger in as he licked a stripe from balls to cock head.

"Oh Jesus. Shawn. That feels perfect." They picked up a rhythm that worked them into a sweat. Shawn has worked three fingers into him by the time he came and Carlton practically screamed Shawn's name.

He felt the bed shift and then Shawn covered his mouth with his own. Carlton was nearly panting into his mouth as he tried to recover enough to return the favor. Shawn dipped his tongue into his mouth and Carlton could taste himself on it.

"You are pretty fantastic, Shawn."

"Um. Thanks, Lassie. You made some noises there that could possibly be illegal. It was hot. Maybe a little too hot."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm saying that I enjoyed your moans so much that I came."

"Christ. Really?"

Shawn stretched across him and snuggled onto his chest. "Is that hard to believe?"

Carlton rolled Shawn off of him and sat up. "Never happened before. I was looking forward to letting you fuck my mouth."

"I'd rather fuck other parts of you." Shawn wiggled his eyebrows illicitly.

"You are incorrigible." Carlton got up and walked to the bathroom. He ran two washcloths under the water and used one to clean up. Before he returned to Shawn, he looked at himself in the mirror. Jesus, he looked a right mess. Hair all askew, lips red from Shawn's stubble and hickeys down his neck. He felt confused. He wanted so badly to let go and allow Shawn in, but he also knew the consequences if things went too far too fast or if all precautions weren't taken.

God. Maybe not having a steady relationship had been in his best interest all this time; besides Victoria. He snorted at the fleeting thought of her and what she would think of him in this situation: naked, overthinking as always, with a man in his bed. He smirked at himself then returned to the bedroom and to Shawn.

* * *

END of Chapter 4


	5. Chapter 5

(Six Weeks Later)

Carlton closed the file folder and the papers hit together with a snap that always brought a smile to his face. Another solved case to raise his team's closure rate. He transferred the folder to the outbox and stretched out his left arm. The cast had been removed two weeks ago, but the muscles still ached. His physical therapy ended on Friday and Carlton couldn't be happier to stop going to that den of torture. Although, he thought he might ask Shawn to keep up with the private massage sessions. The things that man could do with his hands had Carlton grinning even wider as he thought about them.

Six weeks. As Carlton stood, stretched and walked to the coffee station, he reflected on the relationship he had fallen into with Shawn Spencer. The man still irritated him while working a case, certainly, but lately he had found the irritation sort of intriguing. He was amused by the antics more times than not and wondered just how much longer he could keep the two of them a secret. He didn't exactly want to hide from his co-workers; most of the detective pool wouldn't give a damn whether he was gay or not. Carlton also didn't harbor any feelings of shame towards being in a relationship with a man or, more specifically, with Shawn. He saw the way everyone behaved when Shawn was around. If anything he felt proud to be the one Shawn chose to welcome into his circle. No, Carlton's worry was actually with the entire bureaucracy of the SBPD. There would be Human Resource forms and waivers to sign, meetings and training made mandatory for the squad, and the worst thing: there was the chance he would be taken out of the field and forced into a desk position in the precinct. Even though times were changing, progress within the police SOP was slow to change. As of the most recent standards, if an officer filed their status as being in a same-sex relationship they were transferred to more 'protective details' for their 'own safety' in case their fellow officers reacted negatively. Ultimately, it would be up to Chief Vick and Carlton dreaded the idea of handing the reins of his career to anyone.

So for six weeks, the only people in the world that knew he had fallen for the SBPD's resident psychic detective were himself, Shawn, Guster and O'Hara. Carlton was no stranger to keeping secrets; as he was still keeping a huge one from even his boyfriend. They were quickly approaching the day he would have to choose to maintain that secret or open up to Shawn. The last week had propelled them so much closer to that moment.

For weeks Shawn had been the epitome of the perfect boyfriend: he met him after work for dinner, even cooked it on occasion, massaged his recovering muscles after therapy sessions and before that he was invaluable in situations where he had needed two hands to do something. There had been just one hiccup in their relationship and that was that they hadn't been able to have sex. Actual sexual intercourse.

At first Carlton thought that Shawn just wasn't ready to fully trust him and relax enough. Three weeks into trying to get more than two fingers into Shawn hadn't seen much progress and Carlton hated to see his boyfriend in pain as they tried. So, the day Carlton had his cast removed Shawn had made an appointment with his own doctor to find out what was up. Shawn had needed a stiff drink that night to calm down from the stress; talking openly to your doctor about anal sex was never easy.

The tests had come back from that appointment last week and Carlton had been fighting inside his own head the whole time. The diagnosis had come back as moderate Stenosis. Shawn's internal muscles just won't relax on their own to allow anything in. The doctor put him on a medication that will keep the condition from interfering with his normal body functions, but anal sex was definitely out of the question. Shawn hadn't been quiet about the entire issue. There was nonstop begging and pleading. Shawn already knew that Carlton could take his three fingers and just a couple days ago had found the one toy he owned while digging through the dresser.

Carlton wanted to wait until his upcoming cycle ended, but that would mean not only dealing with Shawn's begging but also whining about being away from him for an entire weekend as well. So, he decided to 'bite the bullet' and give in to Shawn tonight. He hoped the sex they could have between now and the next weekend would stave off any further guilt trips and whining. He also wanted to finally be intimate with his boyfriend, by God, in more ways than hand and blow jobs.

His phone chimed as a text from Shawn came through.

"Hey Lass. Want 2 grab lunch? I'll even let you grab other things." There was a little devious winking face at the end of the text.

Lassiter shook his head and sighed.

"Shawn. Lunch sounds great. We can discuss the other later." Lassiter texted back.

"Discuss or do?"

"Depends on how long it takes you to eat."

He grinned at his own comment and when the reply came minutes later when he had returned to his desk, he knew it had amused Shawn.

"You're sexy when you banter back. Be there at noon, Lass."

"Ok." Carlton stared at the message. He didn't exactly know how to end the conversation. Was 'Ok' enough? Would 'See you later' work? He sighed. He didn't know texting would be such an emotional struggle. He hit send and hoped that would be enough.

What he got back from Shawn was a little face that looked like it was kissing the air with a heart. Okay. He went into the icon menu and chose the same one and sent it to his boyfriend. Shawn didn't send a response, so Carlton returned to his paperwork, a slight smile on his face as he anticipated his lunch hour.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  


"Please, Carly. It'll only take a few more minutes." Shawn's pouting face nearly had Carlton giving in to his pleas of doing more than just heavy petting and kissing after lunch."

"I can't, Shawn. O'Hara and I need to go over the witness statements." He placed a kiss to Shawn's cheek and stood. After he re-buttoned his suit jacket, he stretched out his hand to help Shawn up and off the couch. He let Shawn adjust his tie and he swept a few hairs from Shawn's forehead. "But, this evening..."

Shawn locked eyes with him and Carlton knew it was time. He cleared his throat and stood taller.

"Let's do it. Tonight. I want us to finally have sex. If you want to." The sudden raised eyebrow on Shawn's face had him second-guessing his decision once the statement was said out loud. "I mean, if you're not busy and we could enjoy the weekend..."

Shawn cut off whatever back-pedaling he was going to attempt by kissing him.

"Oh, I am not busy. And I do want. But, are YOU sure?"

"I know I haven't been too accommodating about it, but yes, I want you with me. Naked and willing."

Shawn snaked his arms around Carlton's neck and pressed kisses. Carlton returned the gesture with his own around Shawn's waist.

"I am more than willing to be naked with you, Detective Lassiter."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  


The thoughts of what he planned to do with Shawn after work distracted him while he sat in the conference room buried under witness statements with O'Hara. He'd be lying if he told himself he wasn't nervous. He kept playing out the scene in his mind; making sure he didn't leave out the importance of the condom to what he was going to say to Shawn. He just really hoped Shawn wouldn't take him over the edge of reasoning before he was able to convey his preference.

Carlton closed the last folder with the last of the witness statements and stood up. His back popped a little at the movement, but O'Hara didn't seem to notice. He was thankful to have the weekend off and free to spend time with Shawn.

"Partner, I believe that is all the paperwork a person should be allowed to complete in one day." His partner grabbed her jacket off her chair and walked with him as they left the room.

"Agreed. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'll be happy when Vick returns." He dropped the folders into the Chief's file box. With her out of the station until the end of next week, he foresaw that pile growing exponentially in the days ahead.

"I'll be happy once Tancana's transfer is done. I've only helped in two other transfers and both left me with huge migraines afterwards." He watched her pull out her purse and car keys from her desk drawer.

"You'll do fine. There should be little to no protestors and Tancana has been what is considered a model inmate." Carlton shivered at the phrase. He didn't put much stock in anyone being on their best behavior once they'd been locked up for wrong-doings.

"Hope so." As they exited the station, O'Hara waved to him. "Enjoy your weekend and tell Shawn hi for me if you see him." He nodded and waved back. Oh, he fully intended to see Shawn. A crooked smile erupted on his face as he unlocked his car door and slid in.

He stopped at a wine store on his way home and chose a nice Cabernet. He wasn't sure Shawn drank wine, but he didn't want to go straight to the bourbon as soon as he got home. He needed something as he was nervous and hoped a glass of the wine would take the edge off.

Carlton opened the bottle and poured himself a glass. He left the bottle open to breathe and walked to his bedroom. Once his shoes and suit were off, he started the shower. He knew he was probably putting a little too much pressure on himself for the evening, but he wanted to make sure things went easily and smoothly for their first time together. He spent a long while in the warm water relaxing his muscles, washing away the daily grime and finally preparing himself for the night's anticipated activities.

He used his anal toy to open himself up in the shower. As much as he enjoyed the feeling, Carlton only took himself to the edge of orgasm. He wanted to save that for Shawn. Once he was out of the shower and dried, Carlton prepped with some lube before getting dressed in his lounge pants and tshirt. His anxiety increased, even with the help of the wine as he waited for Shawn. By the time his doorbell rang, he had started to pace and wring his hands.

His heart rate was amped when he opened the door and was met with the flushed face of his boyfriend. Carlton had barely closed the door behind Shawn before he was grabbed and pulled to the couch.

"Oh my God, Lassie. The tshirt look is hot." Shawn kissed him from his earlobe down his jawline. The sensation went straight to his dick and so did Shawn's hand. He started palming and stroking him through his pants. Carlton shifted enough to allow Shawn to slide his hand inside his pants and boxers. When Shawn leaned closer Carlton pushed a hand under his shirt and played with a nipple.

The action made Shawn smile and Carlton nipped at his lip before pulling him back into a kiss and swiped his tongue back inside his mouth. Carlton moaned as the sensations overwhelmed him. Shawn responded to the moan and pulled away. At the loss of contact, Carlton reached out to try and bring him back, but Shawn instead grabbed his arm and pulled him off the couch.

"Let's take this to your room." Shawn stepped closer and grasped his ass cheeks.

Carlton had no response except to growl and turned Shawn around to push him in the bedroom's direction. He was still a little bit nervous about what they were about to do, but the feelings and his need to be be intimate with Shawn overrode them. He really wanted to have sex, even if he were the bottom. He couldn't remember ever thinking or feeling like that before and it seemed to turn him on even more.

The two of them entered the room and Carlton gripped the hem of Shawn's shirt and pulled it over his head. Quickly after it hit the floor, Shawn's pants and underwear were removed with the same haste. Shawn found it difficult to catch up until Carlton had stripped him completely. He stood naked in front of him and pushed Carlton onto the bed.

Shawn straddled his near fully clothed boyfriend and leaned in close enough to kiss him. "Lassie, you have no idea how sexy you are to me right now." He reached the tshirt's edge and pulled it up and over, still careful of the left shoulder from habit. "Oh, sweet sternbush."

Shawn slid further down his body and pawed at the exposed chest hair before grasping the waistband of his pants. "I want you. I want to be in you so much, Lassie."

Carlton inhaled from the touches Shawn's fingers made down his legs as he pulled down his bottoms. "Well, then it seems you're in luck tonight."

When he returned to his position on Carlton's lap, Shawn had a sly smile on his face and his pupils were wide. "Lucky, lucky me." He sucked in air when their erections grazed against each other. A sensation Carlton enjoyed. He pulled Shawn's hips down and ground against him for a few moments. Shawn threw his head back and moaned. When he brought his eyes back to Carlton's direction, he was met with an outstretched hand with a condom.

"Oh. Well, yes please. But first." Shawn leaned all the way down to kiss him and Carlton growled when his boyfriend's hand reach between his legs and behind his balls. Their tongues played together as Shawn fingered him. He was glad he handed the condom over early because as Shawn kissed and lubed him, he lost himself in the sensations and feelings of closeness and of being wanted. He had never felt so warm and passionate with anyone before.

By the time Shawn had managed to get four fingers in him, the only sounds he could manage were single-syllable grunts and curse words. He had been pushing himself against Shawn's hand so hard that Shawn had to hold him down with the other hand to stop and get the condom on. "I wish you could see how beautiful you look, Lass." Shawn maneuvered his legs up and open and then looked right at him. He only broke eye contact when he had to line himself up to his entrance. The pressure and the feeling of being entered had him seeing stars. Shawn went slowly, not too slow thankfully, until he was fully seated inside him.

Carlton was willing to commit himself to loving the man on top of him forever with the amazing feelings that flooded his brain. It embarrassed him at how quick he had bonded with Shawn, but there it was. Shawn pistoned his hips at a moderate pace, slowing every so often to adjust his angle or to kiss. Carlton wrapped his hand around his own cock and kept up with Shawn's rhythm. He hadn't been the bottom during sex in many years after the fear of what could happen if his partner wasn't careful took hold. Even though he hadn't specified to Shawn why the condom was necessary, he was completely satisfied that Shawn didn't argue. The friction of Shawn inside him and the pressure against his prostate had Carlton's brain blissed out beyond anything he could remember feeling. He was quick to respond and comply to Shawn's suggestions of position and when they had changed to where he was on his knees and Shawn was behind him, he did nothing but moan deeply into his pillow when he felt Shawn's tongue around and then in his entrance.

"Christ, Shawn. Ugh. Fuck." Carlton saw sparks behind his eyelids as Shawn continued to tongue fuck him for a few minutes. When he stopped, Shawn kissed his right ass cheek.

"I needed a moment, Lass. Didn't want to come and be done so early." He felt Shawn line himself up to resume taking him with his cock. As he pressed in again Shawn hissed out a breath. "Holy fuck. You feel so good." Shawn slowly pushed in and pulled out, the slowness of the movement frustrated Carlton. He grabbed himself and pumped his cock at a fast pace, but he needed more from Shawn.

"Shawn. Fuck me, dammit." He pushed his ass to meet Shawn's thrust to prove that he could take it harder than he was giving. He was thankful that Shawn took the non-subtle hint.

Shawn gripped his hips tighter and pounded into him. "Carl-." He couldn't vocalize Carlton's full name as they screwed at a faster pace. Carlton pushed back when Shawn thrust in, each time it seemed he couldn't get enough of Shawn inside of him. Shawn hissed out half his name each time. Both men were reduced to mumbling and grunting as they fucked. Carlton felt a bead of sweat drop on his back from Shawn and realized just how hot the room had gotten. "Oh, Christ. Shawn." Carlton leaned his head into the pillow on the bed and Shawn stilled behind him. He felt the cock inside him pulse as Shawn came.

Only a few moments passed before Shawn cleared his throat and seemed to begin breathing again. "Lassie. Fuck."

"Yeah. It would seem we did." Shawn carefully pulled out and then dropped on the bed next to him. He inhaled so deeply to catch his breath as Carlton rolled over onto his back, stretched out his legs and popped his hip back into place. They both just laid next to each other and tried to even out their breaths. Shawn reached over and grabbed Carlton's hand in his own and squeezed. "Give me a minute. I'm gonna get rid of this condom and then I'll be back to finish you off, Lassie."

Carlton felt his erection twitch at Shawn's words. He smiled, closed his eyes and reached down to slowly stroke himself while he waited for Shawn to return. As promised, Shawn was back in moments and when he felt the bed dip under his weight, Carlton opened his eyes in time to watch Shawn open his mouth and tongue him from root to tip. "Oh, baby. God yes."

After six weeks, Shawn knew the many, many ways to get Carlton to nearly lose his mind. "Oh yes." In mere minutes, Shawn brought him to the brink and when Carlton grabbed at his hair, he saw stars as he came in Shawn's mouth. When Shawn had finished and he felt so relaxed and numb, he pulled Shawn in front of him and cuddled him close. He kissed Shawn's back and shoulder as their intertwined hands and fingers played with each other. Carlton was hopelessly lost in his feelings and emotions for the man in his arms, but still didn't want to voice how he felt for fear that it would spook Shawn into leaving.

He could wait. He was content with knowing how he felt and as long as Shawn stayed with him, he would enjoy the heck out of whatever type of relationship they'd make for themselves. He loved Shawn, was in love with him and that's all that mattered.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
(END OF CHAPTER 5)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me and this story. It's still a WIP, and I have set ideas for the chapters ahead... so there's more to come. Just, hang in there with me.  
> How was this? Good? Bad? Let me know, if you feel inclined to leave a comment/review. Thank you.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully, this kept you entertained while you read it... Please review or at least leave kudos if it wasn't offensive ;)


End file.
